


letters from line continued

by Alexasnow



Series: letters from the line [3]
Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, War Horse (2011), tomhiddleston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 20:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3354827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexasnow/pseuds/Alexasnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>some new unexpected recruits have joined the regiment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	letters from line continued

I can with certainty assume that you have never seen the field of battle, when the battle rages on things happen to fast and loud for you to take in the full impact of the horror. It is only in the aftermath that you can bear witness to the death and destruction war brings. Bodies litter the red ground, no building is untouched by the destruction, the silence and stillness is eerie, nothing moves, nothing left alive but a small lucky or unlucky few. 

I do feel an empathy toward the paratroopers we saw jumping in yesterday as so many of them barely even get to ground, it is a horror to watch planes full of soldiers blow up before a jump, watching hundreds of them go up in flames before they were able to aid us on the ground, not that we are any safer. Just watching them falling mid-air painfully slow, a moving target caught in the heavy cross fire, or caught in an explosion it is nightmare to watch. Best that some of them could hope for was to reach the ground before they realized what they had jumped into sometimes that gave the enemy enough time to pick them of off, precious few survived. So a few have joined our regiment as theirs had been killed before the rest had a chance to jump, so we greet three new soldiers under bad circumstance but its war there is no good circumstance. They are unfortunately not of a higher rank which means I must remain in charge and now of someone else’s men with our objective, of which we can’t inform them. They were happy to see us as they didn't even have weapons if we had been the enemy they wouldn't have stood much of a chance. 

They are so young it is hard to refer to them as men, one of them clearly lied about his age an in the desperation for soldiers they allowed this child to come to war and now he is under my command. I feel the responsibility to return this child home to his parents who are probably destroyed to know their child is in this hell, he is only 15, the look in his eyes is pure fear. I have heard him cry at night, I do what I can to lift his morale but I cannot be his father or his friend I am his commanding officer, it pains me to hold such distance from others but it is safer for myself and them that I remain an authority figure. And that they remain soldiers, no longer friends, it makes it again a very lonely place, thank god I have you, we laugh and joke but I see how they hush when I walk by at times, I can take it. get constant ribbing for my accent and the way I say things, I know this is because they are at ease with me, as long as they listen to my orders in combat they can say what they like.

On the note of the enemy yesterday we ran into German soldiers, we had the jump on them, the worst of it was one man begging for his life, you could see the fear in his eyes, it’s easier when they are faceless but I had to execute him. If I had let him go god know what would have happened, he could have told the enemy of our position or snuck up on us when we slept, I would take no such risk. It seems some of my soldiers do not agree with what I did as one said there was no need to put him down like a dog, his words stung but I stand by my choice, they argued amongst each other, majority on my side. I had to pull them apart and state in no uncertain terms that “my regiments safety comes first, mercy could cost lives there is no room for it”.  
This part I only tell you, I can only be so human to survive here, and to make decisions I must be cold and calculating, caring will only skew my judgement and my men deserve the best I can give, no matter how much of myself I have to give up. 

You can tell the new additions to our regiment aren't used to the hail of constant gun fire as they constantly exclaim whatever profanity comes to mind. We have been here that long that we are unflinching, they are so on edge any shell makes them jump, they hopefully won’t become accustom to it. They are Americans, I am the only Englishman and I am in charge not sure if they are happy about that but I don’t have time to think about it, and even if I did I wouldn't give it thought as it wouldn't aid my command. We found them weapons, so when we move out today we will see how well they were trained. I know my thoughts have been scattered in this letter but that it how things are at the moment, so many thoughts run through my mind and you’re the only one I can share them with, I think I am starting to love you as your letters are the bright part of any given day and when I haven’t got a new one to read I read old letters you sent. I hope this declaration doesn't shock or upset you. I hope you are starting to care for me as much as I care for you. No matter the answer I hope you keep writing as there as so many demands upon me having you to share my burden with makes it bearable.

Always yours Captain Nicholls.


End file.
